The Afterlife, Monday

[apologizeswithpie]

HELL
INTAKE LEVEL

“Hi, welcome to Hell, this is the Hellp Desk where every day is Bash a Fascist Day, and I just got a brand new bat. Wanna help me break it in or will you be going to your level? Yeah that's what I thought. Off you fuck. Next!”

Lily had in fact gotten a brand new bat, a holiday present from the fae. They assured her it could also be used to make electronics work again.

The next dude in line looked entirely too pleased to be here. Great, one of those. She didn't even have to touch his file to know he'd done heinous shit, and felt no remorse. Quite the opposite.

Oh, but there was a post-it attached. Interesting.

“Save him for Gregorith.”

“Where is she?” the soul demanded giddily. “Is she running already?”

Lily wasn't listening. “Greg's back?!” she glanced up at the soul impatiently. “You. Level Nine. Bat, head.”

LATER
LILY'S PARADISE

“When did you get back?” Lily asked once all the hugs and cat against leg greetings were completed.

“Last night. I wanted a full night's sleep before all the social stuff.”

“Understandable. How'd it go with the soul this morning?”

Lily had been one of the first people to not flinch at the notion of what Gregorith did for a living. She had in fact asked for details.

“Not well. For him. Thanks for only knocking him around a bit. I really wanted to be the one to tell him that the girl he killed was in her own paradise. He was pissed.”

In addition torturing human monsters “physically”, Greg quite enjoyed getting to inform killers with a certain motivation, that their victims were living their best afterlives, or had reincarnated and forgotten all about them.

Beezlebub, the demon filling in for Gregorith had flagged the man's file for that reason, knowing he'd be back for a few days.

“Shop talk later!” Sharkie announced. “It's tea-time! Spill, Mr. Ambassador!”

So much of the rest of the gathering was spent by Greg telling them about the quirks of Fandom he'd experienced, and researched so far, Steven, and Marc, lamenting with Sharkie that he hadn't been able to keep the tiny horse, and showing them a video of the zombie band in Caritas.

“Hey are Loki and Jesus up to their usual holiday antics?”

[Content Warning: discussion of torture, and serial killers. Gregorith is visiting home for a few days, but will be back on Saturday. That he has gone home for a bit is okay for broadcast.]